iThink: Modern-day Vampires

Ask a learned kid about how much he knows about the world and he would immediately respond, without hesitation, with pride and affirmation that it's a planet, elliptical, almost circular in shape consisting of a larger percentage of water, arable and non-arable soil, minerals of unparalleled number and extensively populated by mankind.

If that's the way you picture this planet, considering the time you've spent roaming around its conspicuous or sometimes obscured corners, then you just have to admit that you haven't grown at all regardless of your age.

I must confess that time has left me somewhere where winds lack the strength to carry me away from the confines of innocence. 

A teacher from the school where I do my practice teaching once stressed that I have "an air of a genius" on the very first day she saw me. Adding more substance to her speculation, my classmates revealed that I have a good academic standing for I am bound to receive some recognition on our graduation. Well, it's not something that would give me enough money to uplift my family's economic status so, being proud of it might not be the right term to attach to it.

Talking about genius, for quite some time, I defined the term as having the knowledge about what respectable books claim to be true, being able to effectively apply them in real life and accepting the fact that it is something to be shared rather than kept. And so, I wormed my way out of orthodoxy and decided to follow the footsteps of the wise.

I'm under the impression that the latter two deserve a nod while my first notion is just a parcel of the whole I need to have.

I once thought that books or any other written accounts can answer every possible question a person may pose on a wide expanse of topics. It's because of the idea that writers, more often than not, recreate and immortalize real human experiences on paper only tapping them a bit to invite a wider audience at their feet.

Now, I came to the conclusion that I am missing the broader picture of the real world. Ignorant? Innocent? Call me both.

I live in a city so urbanized and progressive that it is fair enough to mention it being virtually close to the conditions of Manila particularly at daylight, or so I once thought. The hustle and bustle of the day for business transactions has never dawned on me to be similar to the night's silent trade. Money rolls day after day in our locality but it also does night after night, as I have recently learned.

If businesses related to economics are the main agenda for the day, businesses pertaining to personal human necessities, which is inexcusably an understatement, feed on the rays of the moon.

The trade usually satisfies Adam and "slightly" Adam's lot - the vampires if you'd permit me to refer. I now believe more than ever that mysteries do happen at night thanks to a couple of friends who opened my eyes to see the other, more furtive side of the coin. 

The feast begins as early as nine at night where these vampires, tired from the hassles of hiding under the professional wardrobe yet hungry for human flesh, hunt for the potential "snack" or "dinner" that could put their surging hormones at bay.

If you'd like to catch the best among the preys, you better make sure to hunt not later than midnight flashing your most attractive bait, which of course, is no other than cold cash. Otherwise, you'll have to settle yourself with the residues left behind. Well, that works fine if you're caught at the middle of some financial crisis. Just don't expect something great out of your prey for they might smell and look like werewolves or something.

You don't need to have abilities like running fast, reading minds, or predicting the future for they are inessential to your hunt. Your eyes are enough to pass the message of interest to your prey. By the way, you're a predator, remember? Something about you should invite your prey to fall right into your lap without exerting much effort. Good looks, wealth or both can sometimes do the thing.

On the occasion that your prey's eyes meet your gaze, you'd know if it's willing if it went to follow you. In the real world, preys have a say if they would agree to be your late dinner or not. And that's a rule of the thumb unless desperation comes in.

You'd have to stop at a corner, bargain its price, have a memorandum of agreement in your heads, verbally signed and close the deal if you settled the score properly.

After that, whatever you plan to do with your dinner, be careful not to go off the provisions of your MOA or you might get into  big trouble.

Pricing however, is not a fixed one for it is not monitored by the DTI. The authority is asleep while vampires do the hunting. If not, they themselves are closet vampires who usually join the coven as they move out of their office upon twilight - their safest part of the day. If you're a prey, you'd surely see some of the big fish either in a coven or just by themselves flashing their golden fangs.

Educated-looking preys normally have a four to five digit price tag. If these predators don't seem to have a thicker pocket for the night, street children who aimlessly wonder Eros' street might agree with a two-digit price tag.

The night is long for the vampires. They can choose to fatten their prey with alcohol before he do his thing. This I learned, is a key to unlock the barrier both parties have set at first in the MOA. The prey would be so much wasted as it would never remember anything that happened while predator eats his sumptuous dinner.

As the sun bids another day, the vampires immediately go back to their lairs as if nothing happened at all. They would put on their disguise - their professional wardrobe, wearing a sardonic smile and vigor, forcing a pretentious move they are so much accustomed with and hoping the day to end fast. The only traceable evidence of the feast and the hunt are dark-hued circles forming in their pale-looking eyes.

It’s hard to imagine that beside the world I thought to be, another one, more stale, more gruesome is lurking just around the corner when my frail body submits to the circadian rhythm at night.

What was once personal, intimate and divine is now posing to be the next big trade to hit the stock market – a reality we should all face. Sadly, where development gains ground, vampires lay their coven’s cornerstone with needy and desperate preys who were sank down by the high standard of living, as the primary commodity of the trade.

Solution? If the hunting stops, immorality can too. And I doubt this would ever happen. It’s human nature.

bookREview: New Moon by Stephenie Mayer

Category:	Books
Genre:	Science Fiction & Fantasy
Author:	Stephenie Meyer

Rating: 5 Stars

Paris and Juliet. That wouldn't buy greater audience than how much Romeo and Juliet did. That wouldn't profess the meaning of true love - a kind of love that can withstand perpetual sadness. And that would never ever inch on the list of classics worth promoting despite time's rapid current.

Stephenie Meyer knows better than let Bella Swan, her heroine, bite the bait Jacob Black sent out for her while she's swimming at the middle of a sea of emotional distress in her second installment of the emerging classic, the Twilight Saga - New Moon.

New Moon is centered around the love triangle that arose between Bella, Jacob and Edward at a time when Edward decided to leave Bella for good. Edward thought this step best because he blames himself for endangering Bella's life more with him, being not human but a vampire - a bloodsucker, a cold one.

The adventure and the heart-pounding emotions Meyer placed in the narrative, the heart break a normal girl would surely feel, the longing this heartbroken fellow has for a love she aren't sure would ever come back, the disappointment this poor girl has for herself at making her friends vulnerable to the danger she should have been solely shouldering and the hate she has for herself for allowing her best friend to have hope she could someday learn to love him, packed into a conflict that offers no rational solution gives me the impression that this volume is one of the best written plot I've ever read so far.SPOILER ALERT 

The novel began with a nerve-racking scene in the Cullen's house, in a party insisted by Alice to be held as Bella turned 18. A danger magnet, as always, Bella accidentally cut her hand while opening Edward's present, releasing blood that triggered Jasper's eagerness to drink a true human's blood.

This just justified Edward's decision to better leave Bella to give her a chance of a normal human life. The Cullens fled several days after and Edward and Bella parted bitterly in a forest near Charlie's [Bella's dad] house. Before leaving, Edward took everything that would remind Bella of the Cullens. It's as if, as Edward put it, he never existed.

Sam Uley later found Bella deep into the forest at the middle of the night in a search constituted by Charlie. This made Charlie furious with Edward as he just left her daughter unprotected in the forest. Bella found later that all of the things that the Cullens would remind her was taken back by Edward.

After four months of moping, as Charlie straightly describes Bella's actions/ reactions over what happened, Bella tried to move forward. Her first attempt - an invitation with Jessica to the movie at Port Angeles - was futile.

One day, while she made her mind drift while driving, she saw two rundown motorcycles in front of the Marks' residence with a sign that tells it's for sale. It was eventually acquired by Bella for free because the boy who received her said it's more like a garbage than an item worth purchasing.

These motorcycles brightened the friendship between Jacob and Bella, which in turn helped her recover from the lifeless stupor brought about by Edward's absence. Bella asked Jacob to help her fix the motorcycles together as well as learning it to drive. That made Bella make a daily trip to La Push, a place where the Blacks live.

After some time, Bella almost accepted the fact that what she feels for Jacob is already more than friendship, though she made it clear to him when he confessed his feelings at the movie house while Mike was throwing up that she couldn't offer him anything more than friendship.

After the not very good movie night, Bella caught the stomach flu Mike also has that night. She thought Jacob also caught it, but she later found, because of impatience of not seeing Jacob for two weeks, that Jacob's scary story about werewolves were true. And that Jacob has turned into one.

She wasn't supposed to know about it as it is against the rule Sam's gang [the pack of wolves] established. But because it turned out that Bella is the main subject of Victoria, James' mate, to avenge his death she was accepted by the gang..

With that revelation, Bella was instructed to be in La Push as much as she can for the werewolves to protect her. One day, Jacob promised Bella to try "cliff jumping" as she had seen Sam's gang was doing while they [Bella and Jacob] was about to try their newly-repaired bikes.

Jacob was not able to make it on time that day because of patrolling the perimeter of La Push for Victoria. Bella, eager to hear the voice of Edward in her head, which happens almost every time she's in danger, jumped off the cliff without Jacob, aware that the weather was brewing danger.

She would have drowned had Jacob did not come to the rescue in time. Bella thought she saw some flames under the water but she later learned that it was Victoria, making it to the water now, instead in land, where vampires are best at. She also learned that Harry [Clearwater], Charlie's friend had a heart attack and that he died.

Jacob brought Bella back to Charlie's house only to be surprised by Carlisle's black Mercedes parked in front. Jacob immediately knew that a vampire is inside the house. It took some time to convince Jacob that this is not Victoria but probably one of the Cullens before he left her.

Upon opening the door, Bella was surprised to see Alice, in her marble and ever angelic face, standing at the center of their living room. She threw her hand to Alice because it proved her that what happened the year before, when she arrived in Forks wasn't just an illusion after all.

Alice was happy to see Bella alive because her reason for coming is that her visions told her that Bella was committing suicide by jumping off the cliff. Bella explained everything to her. Afterwards, she pleaded Alice to stay to cover up what she missed in the eight months of their absence.

Charlie returned home, surprised to see Alice. The next day, he went to Harry's funeral. Jacob went to visit that day but he was disappointed with the fact that the vampire hasn't departed yet.

The phone rang. Jacob thought it was Carlisle. The caller was asking for Charlie and he said he's in the funeral. Bella went furious with Jacob for not letting her answer the phone.

Alice came in with a confused and scared look. She saw Edward going to Italy, trying to provoke the Volturi kill him. They all found out that it wasn't Carlisle who called but it was Edward. Rosalie told Edward about Alice's vision about Bella and Edward tried to straightly inquire Charlie about it. Edward thus thought that Bella was dead because Charlie was at a funeral.

Alice and Bella immediately flew to Italy to stop Edward's plans. When Alice saw that the Volturi refused to accept Edward's request and instead, invited him to become one of them because of his unique talent of mind reading, Edward then decided to provoke the Volturi of killing him by exposing their kind at the height of a festival in Volterra where people would definitely be surprised by someone who looks exactly like diamonds under the afternoon sun.

Thankfully, they arrived on time. Edward at first thought that he's already dead, being together with Bella. Two Volturi guards waked him to reality. At first the three of them, Edward, Alice and Bella refused to come with them but after a guard named Jane appeared, they seemed to follow with consent. It turned out that this Jane is talented in confounding.

They were brought into Aro's audience. The Volturi wasn't about to allow Bella away with her knowledge about Vampires without making her into one, but Alice let Aro see her visions and in them, he saw Bella turning into one of them.

When they left Italy, the Cullens all brought Bella back home. Naturally, Charlie was furious, but Bella tried to calm her father no matter how much tired she was. On the way home, Bella tried not to sleep because she's afraid Edward might leave her. But upon arriving home, Edward promised her not to leave.

Edward took his word and when Bella woke up, she thought all that happened the last three days were just a dream and that she's still in that dream. Edward convinced her that she's not dreaming, but Bella claimed she don't want to believe that because it would only tear her heart if Edward leaves again.

Near the end, Bella asked the Cullens to vote for her immortality. Majority agreed on making Bella one of them. She made Carlisle promise to make her a vampire after she graduates High School. Edward was so furious that she broke something in the main living room of their house.

When Edward brought Bella back to Charlie's house, he made a deal with her. He would be the one to turn her into a vampire if she would agree to marry him as soon as possible. But Bella, thinking Charlie and Renee's reaction, disagreed on this. He then asked her to wait for five years, which lessened into one then six months if she wants him to turn her into a vampire himself.

Bella did not agree and still clung to the promise made by Carlile - to make her immortal upon her graduation which will be after several weeks.

On the next day, Charlie grounded Bella and imposed hours of Edward's visit. Little did Charlie know, Edward sneaks through Bella's window as soon as he walks out of Charlie's door.

Because of Bella's punishment, she was not allowed to go anywhere, even La push. Jacob thought Edward prohibited Bella to visit him that's why he chose to betray her with the motorcycle. Charlie went furious over the motorcycle thinking how dangerous it can be.

Jacob later found that Bella was grounded - the reason why she can't visit him. Edward grabbed the opportunity to thank Jacob for saving Bella's life when he did not. Jacob was not gratified by this but he left apologizing to Bella. The story ended with Charlie howling inside the house in fury.

bookREview: Twilight [Stephenie Meyer]

Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author: Rating	Stephenie Meyer 4 Stars

"...just because we've been... dealt with a certain hand... it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above - to conquer the boundaries that none of us wanted."

Thus pointed by Edward Cullen in Stephenie Meyer's heart-pounding and alluring novel that in such a short time, earned a considerable number of followers who, in turn, proved the novel's as well as the author's brilliance.

Twilight, permit me to say, is just a simple, plain yet captivating teenage love story, only spiced by the conflict that it's a kind of affair which is forbidden and naturally unacceptable in the real sense.

The way the author weaved Edward and Bella's affair is not very far from an ordinary love story scribbled by some lowly author who can be satisfied in freelance writing of cheap pocketbooks in the market. But one thing, in my view, did the trick that drew the fence separating cheap authors from this vampire story goddess. Meyer sure knows how it is to be young.

If in other novels, you would be thrilled by the unfolding of suspenseful events, Twilight, surprisingly and impressively does the complete opposite.

Twilight's popularity, in my opinion, feeds on the lines the characters throw to one another, especially those of Edward's and Bella's. Their dialogues are so passionate, so meaningful, so full of youthful energy and bravado that would keep you hanging and read in a rapid pace until you turn the succeeding pages where they would once again talk, releasing and increasing tension at the same time.

Such stance of the author to make the narratives revolve around the character's emotions expressed through impressive dialogues, I must confess, forms a large percentage of the success of book.

After I completely digested everything the book has to offer, I came to a conclusion that it's a worthy contender to the success the Harry Potter series now claims. This is my bold answer to those who outrightly compare Meyer with Rowling together with the characters they sketched. However, their approach is different. Meyer brings cliff-hangers through the lines while Rowling does the magic in the events.

I particularly liked the idea of Edward being able to read the thoughts of other people with Bella as the sole exception. I want also to give credit to Meyer's giving emphasis as to why her vampires are godlike compared to some others who portray theirs as monster-like and ghost-like.."I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell... - mentioned by Edward in Chapter 13, "Confessions." If I am a child, I would have believed in vampires and would have been convinced by their existence because of this line.

The author ended the novel in a manner which completely satisfies her readers but which urge them to crave for more - a good way to keep them tailing for the next volumes.

Nevertheless, the first thing that urged me to give the book four stars instead of a perfect five is the introduction of the Quileutes in chapter 6, "Scary Stories," which seemed to me that the author just tried to force something out of myths and legends in such an absurd manner. It's as if the preceding chapters are all part of reality while that chapter, with no warning at all, turned that reality into fantasy haphazardly. Though it's a good entrypoint to enlighten readers about the true nature of Edward, it's just not that convincing.

But if you ask me, the long history of the Cullens, recounted by Edward on Bella's visit to his family is brilliantly narrated. If it's not for this, that four, might push backward to three.

Second, some of the sarcasms which the author used are not very universal - something which not every reader could instantly understand. Meyer probably did not, at first, consider her book to reach this fame and to spread in the unexpected corners of the world. That cultural barrier, evident particularly in the dialogues of the characters, slackened my reading pace from time to time because I first have to be certain with the meaning of the character's figurative words.

Third, and I think most influential of all, I guess I just expected too much from this book because it became the talk of every mouth I know in school, at home, my friend circle, not to mention the unparalleled media hype and the rising number of online groups that worship this series. If not for these maybe, what you see in this review is not a four but a shining five star for rating.

To end this very subjective review, it's two thumbs up for Meyer for having conceived a story which has always been explored by many a writer in history but which has never been tapped to a full blow much like she did in Twilight.

iThink: an epistle of love

At first, I intended to write a story, but instead, I came up with this, a letter. I guess it would best convey the message I intend to give. So, here it goes:

My dearest angel,

I thought my feelings for you are over and done already. I hate the idea that my thoughts deceived me once again. I just can't hide the fact that my heart still calls for your name. That it never healed the wounds I tried to inflict into it just to force it to forget you because I know all along that you are together with a worthier man, I, myself couldn't ever match.

When we meet from time to time, I thought a period is already drawn between you and me. Little chats with matters that don't even concern us made me believe that I have totally forgotten the things I tried to hide from you ever since we were together as schoolmates, as friends. 

Friendship. That's the only thing we could both share and for several years, I clung to that and pressed this incessant beating of my heart to a stop. I buried everything. My hopes, my wishes, my future plans with you, my courage to confess this love I especially hid from you during those times I sought after the answers to questions that continue to bug me even up to now.

I don't deserve you. You deserve someone better who would replicate the tender love and care you could give. Someone who would spend precious time for you and who would spare moments from his busy schedule to keep in touch with you. I knew this already ever since -  that I could never supply the same happiness you already have with him. If you ask me, I'm very much happy for you because you found someone who could return that perfect feeling you ideally drew in the air when we were younger, when we were more carefree, when I thought we could have a chance together.

I deeply apologize for not telling you before that what I feel for you is no longer of friendship but something more tender, more pressing, more amazing, more euphoric that seeps deeply into the bones. I feel like I betrayed you, but please, don't get upset. I did that to save you from anguish because had I win your heart, you might just suffer from my mood swings, from this eternal hate I feel for myself.

Yes, I buried everything and I know perfectly well that the soil I used to seal that love into the abyss of darkness has turned rock solid in time. But I never had a single hint that everything would turn back the moment you put your hand in my shoulder. I think you have forgotten that instance, which happened just recently when we met, when your smooth hand touched my shoulder when you were about to give me something.

There seemed to have a loud bang that heralded how my love has never wavered in time. Something like lightning struck my heart in that exact moment when you pressed your hand against my shoulder. Something words can never express told me that you are indeed who I need, like in those moments on movies where the world stopped spinning and a voice proclaims: she is the girl you will spend your lifetime with.

Everything I buried, even sorrows and grief I forced to keep mum and lay hidden behind the smiles I wear every minute of the day struck me flatly in that instant. So, I said, I can't really teach this heart to retreat and seek another.

I tried to divert my thoughts to other things just to force back those feelings that sprang again in a single jolt. But every time I secretly catch your eyes, blood surge in my arteries and I couldn't control the beating that became more rapid and uncontrollable.

I managed to control it though. But when I arrived home all with those crazy antics we had that day frenzying into my head, when I was about to get some rest, when I closed my eyes, the thoughts, feelings and those that suddenly sprang up all turned back revolving constantly in my brain. Then, at the center, I saw your face. The angelic face I so adored before, prevented me from getting an early rest. 

All my regrets, sorrows, grievances and grudges for not having the courage to tell you what I feel before returned mocking me more and more and making me dismayed for not being some other person who have certain qualities you definitely would be proud of. I detested fate for letting me meet you at a time when I am most powerless and weak. At the same time, I hated myself for thinking negatively even before I ever took the very first step in the pursuit of your heart.

Until now, at this age, I'm still at the state of frivolous confusion. Somewhere around this world, I know I can find that missing piece in the puzzle that for so long exhausted my energy and will to seek another soul. I hate to think that you are that missing chip because I know I no longer have the right to contest for your heart now that someone already possess that fragile piece.

If ever I could turn back time and have the chance to redo something, I will still do the same - keep my love hidden from your sight. You know why? It's because I don't want your hands to get soiled in my endless search for myself. I don't want to see you shedding tears in my fruitless quest to discover who I am and who I should be that even at this moment is still covered with haze that constantly add more pain in my being. You're so special that I can't see you walking beside me tirelessly into a hot desert to look for my life's oasis. 

And so, I let you drift in the current alone, hoping that somehow, somewhere, someone could see you to bring you to the safer side of the stream. I'm glad that he saw you. But I think, no matter how much I try to win you back in proper time, I already know your heart will never be mine...

PS: I specially dedicate this song to you, which pretty much contains what my heart personally wants to tell you. I hope you could spare some time to listen to it...

FALL FOR YOU by Second Hand Serenade

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home [x4]
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

iThink: who am i?

For quite some time, I've been perplexed with this question. It may bewilder you, but that's just the fact. I don't really know who I am at this point in time, or even worse, I think I haven't really discovered myself in my entire existence yet. There are things which a part of me tells that I have to do this but the other half insists that I do that.

Nothing, I guess is more hateful than being ignorant of who you are and who you are not. The distance between the two is just as far as the earth and the sky and just like these two, they can never meet halfway through the middle. But then, why do I still keep on facing towards the location where illusion sets a sturdy boundary from reality? Oh, I'm so confused.

I feel like I'm trying to catch an illusive bird but though the effort is fruitless, I still try my luck. This may sound like a silly comparison, but this is just what I feel. 

Apart from this, another thing that vexxes me the most all along is the question: who should I be? What would happen if I do this and that? Would I have a glimpse of the self I ideally placed in my head?

I hate to admit this but I'm terribly insecure with other people having the qualities I really like to have. Contentment, they say, is the only road to happiness. But I can't seem to settle completely and be contented with what I have, what I know and what I am.

How I wish I have someone who could show me the way out of this rough road. How I wish an angel would bring me light so that I could escape from the wilderness of the world I learn to hate. How I wish wishes could come true..